Hilarity

Welp. I'm finally home. And let me tell you what an ordeal it was! The airport/plane was fine, if a little intimidating. I hate airports. They're actually kinda extremely terrifying. I mean, there's just so much that has to be done! Get the boarding pass, check your bags, go through security. Try not to lose anything because it feels like you're carrying a million things in your hand (boarding pass, driver's license, and anything else), and then you have to set everything down and take your shoes off. And what if you don't pass security? And spill everything on the ground? I just want to get to the terminal, ok? Please don't take me away! I didn't do anything wrong! I wanna go home! Not like this actually happened. But the thought that it could  is why I HATE airports. And why they're scary.

However, I survived. Whew. What a relief. So I get out of the airport, find my family, put my bags in the car, and hop in the front seat, and we're on our way! Sorta... Cept for this one word that my dad hates: Traffic.

My dad would do anything to avoid traffic. Take a million alternate routes, and try every trick in the book, just so we don't have to sit still in the car. I guess it's just his thing.

So we were on the road for ages. It took us so long. Well, my family on the road can sometimes be a little bit intense. Sometimes, there's lots of crying. Sometimes, it's shouting. Sometimes, it's laughing. Today, everything was funny. A small sample of what went down:

• Dad pulls off a deft maneuver after realizing that we're in the wrong lane (we're in a Suburban, mind you), involving switching lanes at the light and cutting in front of a truck. Much honking and craziness ensues.
• James: "Dad, what did you do? Why is someone honking at us?"
• Dad: "I was just being unconventional"
• Me: "You were breaking the law!"
• Dad: "Which is why it's unconventional!"
• Benjamin talks about how he's going to be rich one day.
• Mom: "Just don't forget that when you're rich, you'll be buying me a Porsche!"
• Benjamin: "I'm going to give you the exact same response that you give me when I ask for a car: 'Hahaha...funny.' "
• Trying to hold a conversation with my mom:
• Me: "How was women's conference?"
• Mom: "That was really random. Where did that come from?"
• Dad: "Honey, I need you to.... (proceeds to ask question, which spirals off into a different topic entirely) 
• ... Five minutes later...
• Mom: "Oh yeah! In answer to your question awhile back, women's conference was great!"
• Dad yet again attempts to find a way to avoid the traffic by pretending to go to the DFW airport, while also trying to avoid the $2 toll
• Me: "Dad, look, the U-turn you were talking about!"
• Mom: "Oh good, we don't have to pay the two dollars!"
• Dad: "See, I knew what I was doing. I was NOT going to pay two dollars! I never get any trust around here."
• Despite my dad's valiant efforts, we still ended up in a traffic jam. As we travel at 20 mph, we pass the speed limit sign, which indicates that we can go 60 mph
• Dad: "Well, at least we don't have to worry about going the speed limit!"
• Me: "Yeah, at least we don't have to worry about you breaking the law again!"

And that my friends and blog readers, is why I was laughing so hard that I was tearing up. Mind you, this was only a fraction of what was said and unsaid in the car ride home. It's good to be back!