The whole outcome of the game is to solidly figure out if the other person likes you. Seems simple enough, right? Wrong! For some reason, there is no simple way to play The Game. I know, I've tried. There are always multiple phases of The Game, and sometimes they have a quick life span, and sometimes they are long and drawn out to the point of exhaustion.
Initial Communication:
This phase is where you first meet the person. It can be anywhere from a ward activity to a random happenstance on campus. It can last five minutes or an hour, depending on the situation, how well you hit it off or how attractive they are (let's be honest-that's a huge factor). Usually the initial communication is where the Budding Attraction seed is planted. If the Initial Communication goes well, then phone numbers are exchanged and further Communication is sought after.
Communication:
After Initial Communication, there's the feeling of "What next?" If the Budding Attraction seed has been planted, then usually the Communication will build to the point of A Date. Communication is where you get to find a little bit more about the person. Are they worthy to go on A Date? Is he even interested in me or is he just being friendly? The Communication phase is important, because what if someone is not as funny/smart/nice/polite as they may have been during Initial Communication? Well that's a problem. Sometimes The Game can end during the Communication phase because you're just not interested. The Budding Attraction seed can either be squashed by a rude and insensitive comment, how dirty his apartment is, or by the fact that he's actually pretty socially awkward in a group. (All three have happened before.) If Communication is successful, and enough hints have been dropped by both people, then A Date occurs.
A Date:
A Date can range anywhere from going out to eat to going to a ball game. Since this is BYU, there are actually some pretty creative dates. A Date can be a group date, or a just the two of you. This is where you really start evaluating the person and how compatible they are with you. If none of his interests match up with yours, then that's a problem. While it's nice to have some differences, there are some things that just can't be overcome. For example, if he totally hates football and refuses to watch a single game, then that might be a problem if you like to spend your Saturday afternoons catching a good game, so you couldn't spend time together. Or if you like doing outdoorsy things and he doesn't, then how would you both have fun going on a hike? Sometimes there's just no spark.
Sometimes though, there is a spark. You laugh at the same things, love the same movies, and just overall have a great time. You start wondering about whether or not things could actually work out between the two of you. Now this is where The Game gets tricky. Sometimes things can skip right over Budding Attraction into straight up Attraction, then slides on into Relationship easy-peasy. However, sometimes The Game needs to be played out into its fullest. Because what if he doesn't feel the same as you do? Maybe he didn't feel that spark that you did, and you're just crazy?
Budding Attraction:
This is the most crucial part of The Game. It's also the longest part of the game (at least for me anyway). Budding Attraction overlaps into all of the previous categories. Sometimes the seed blossoms quickly, and sometimes it dies before it even has the chance. Budding Attraction is when you start asking yourself whether or not you actually like the person and are interested in taking things to Attraction. Personally, I start keeping a mental pros and cons list that not only lists his good qualities against the bad, but lists the possibilities of where The Game might lead to. For example, yes you really think he's funny...but sometimes his humor is a little mean to other people. Yes he likes to do fun, spontaneous things...but he's not very dependable or responsible. He's seems like such a nice guy...but he doesn't put the milk back in the fridge (huge pet peeve of mine). Budding Attraction can shift into Attraction after either a few days or after multiple dates. It all depends on what you're looking for.
Budding Attraction is crucial because this is when you decide whether or not to go all in. This is where you get the opinions of your friends and roommates on the matter. If you feel like you're not ready for Attraction, then the Budding Attraction seed is squashed, and the person gets labeled "A Crush", while life returns back to normal. If Budding Attraction blossoms into a bright, vibrant Attraction flower, then it's time to turn the tables and see if the other person feels the same way.
Attraction:
After the Attraction flower has blossomed, your attention shifts to figuring out whether or not he likes you back. This is where every action is dissected, rehashed, and retold to roommates and friends. "We sat close to each other on the couch and he didn't back off," or "He gave me a hug when he usually doesn't" or "He's asking me out on Date part IV!" If he doesn't return the Attraction, then there are a few outcomes. The person can decide to quit The Game and start over with someone new. Or the person continues to try and plant the Budding Attraction seed. This part is tricky since it's hard to push things without fear of coming off as too forward or just plain creepy. Attraction is hard to line up between the same two people, which is why The Game is so important. As one of my friends says: "I can never get the right guy to like me back!" However, when the planets align ever so nicely, and both of you are in the Attraction phase, then you're a great candidate for a Relationship.
Relationship:
Congratulations! If you've made it this far, then you have successfully played The Game! Now it's time to move on to The Next Level. The Dating Game is just the first step in the process of The Long Haul (aka Marriage). However, I am not married, nor planning on being married anytime in the near future, so here's where my walk-through is complete.
As you can see, The Game can be quite complicated, or very simple. I've known circumstances where a couple flies through the first few steps, ended up at Relationship, and then realized that they knew hardly anything about each other, so they broke it off. I've also known where a couple decided to just stay in Attraction and go on Date parts X, XI, XII, etc and they were totally happy with it. It all just depends on who you are and what you like. Now that you're informed, let The Game begin!
Relationship:
Congratulations! If you've made it this far, then you have successfully played The Game! Now it's time to move on to The Next Level. The Dating Game is just the first step in the process of The Long Haul (aka Marriage). However, I am not married, nor planning on being married anytime in the near future, so here's where my walk-through is complete.
As you can see, The Game can be quite complicated, or very simple. I've known circumstances where a couple flies through the first few steps, ended up at Relationship, and then realized that they knew hardly anything about each other, so they broke it off. I've also known where a couple decided to just stay in Attraction and go on Date parts X, XI, XII, etc and they were totally happy with it. It all just depends on who you are and what you like. Now that you're informed, let The Game begin!
