There are only girls at the IS office. This leads to some pretty interesting conversations. There are two girls that are married and two girls that will be married by the time 2012 closes out. As you can see, there are stories.
We watched April's engagement video. She was proposed to in Times Square over Christmas break a year ago. And she got interviewed for a Spanish TV channel. She and her husband are adorable.
Emily (the Head Secretary. Not to be confused with my roommate) just recently married her husband over Thanksgiving Break. Marshall seems like a sweetheart. He brings her snacks and comes in between his classes on her longer days. Emily has told some hilarious stories about Marshall.
Alexsandra and Allyson are the two girls that are getting married soon-ish. Allyson has already gone ring shopping and is expecting to be proposed to by April at the latest. Alexsandra is waiting for her missionary to come and is expecting to be proposed to by June.
Now how have these girls been so successful with their lives? I'm not entirely sure. I mean, I'm still the new girl. I don't know everyone's backstory yet. But I'm getting there. However, I do know some tricks to success on both ends.
Boys:
When we come to you with a complaint about anything that is going wrong in our lives, please please please DON'T try to fix the problem! Office Emily was telling us how she complained to Marshall about how something should work a different way than it did. Marshall, being a mechanical engineer (or some type of engineer), proceeded to explain that whatever she wanted from the device could not possibly work because blah blah blah. See the problem here? She didn't want an explanation to why it couldn't work. She knew it wouldn't work. She just wanted someone to hear her complaint and agree with her. The end. Unless a girl is like "Hey, can you help me figure out...?" or "Can you fix this?", then don't try to fix her problem! Just listen. And say things like "Wow that sucks" or "I totally agree" or "I feel your pain". Then it shows that you're listening, but not trying to fix the problem.
In addition to listening to her compliments, another thing that is really attractive is when you not only listen, but remember something and ask about it later. This works only when it's sincere. For example, if the last time you talked to a girl, she was stressing out about an exam, ask her about how her exam went. If there was something good that happened in her life, then ask her about that. Basically just follow up on events in her life, and it will show that not only did you pay attention and listen to her the last time you talked, but it also shows that you truly do care about her life.
Give sincere and specific compliments. And not just "Oh you look good today". That's BAD. Because then the girl starts thinking "Why do I look good today and not yesterday/the last time I saw you?" And then she starts to think back to things that are wrong with her appearance which leads to a whole train of thought that goes nowhere happy. Give a specific compliment. If her hair was what made you notice, then compliment her hair. Or her shirt. One time, a guy complimented the shirt I was wearing, and now I love wearing that shirt because I know that I look good in it.
"But wait!" you say. "How do I know that this will actually work? How do I know that I won't be Friendzoned?" Because sadly, girls just can't seem to realize that their really close friends are also date-worthy. So boys, let me tell you something. Dates mean something. Even if they aren't supposed to mean something, they mean something. And even if both the girl AND the guy know that the date doesn't mean anything, it still means something. Because here's what happens. The girl starts subconsciously thinking about her date in a different way. As in "could I potentially date this guy" kind of way. She starts looking for the qualities that she wants in her ideal guy in you. And sometimes it's not as subconscious. Most of the time it's right at the forefront of her mind. And the seed is planted. So if you like a girl, and you feel like you've been "Friendzoned", then just ask her out on a date. Make it fun and make it a double date (so it doesn't look like you're trying to be serious, but it's still a small enough group). BOOM. Seed planted. Now this is easier in the Mormon culture because going on a date does not mean actually dating. It's more for fun. No immediate commitment. Yet it still works the same way. So go out, plant the seed. Ask the girl on a date. Give it a couple of weeks and maybe two dates and there will be a perfect little seed planted her head. The rest is up to you. (**In retrospect, I want to make something clear. Ask girls on dates. Even if it is a "just fun" date, still ask her, and don't be intimidated by what she might potentially be thinking for the future. Because dates are fun, and they make a girl feel special [who wouldn't want that?]. What's going on through the girl's head is her problem, and you should enjoy yourself)
Don't worry girls. Your side will be coming soon!
When we come to you with a complaint about anything that is going wrong in our lives, please please please DON'T try to fix the problem! Office Emily was telling us how she complained to Marshall about how something should work a different way than it did. Marshall, being a mechanical engineer (or some type of engineer), proceeded to explain that whatever she wanted from the device could not possibly work because blah blah blah. See the problem here? She didn't want an explanation to why it couldn't work. She knew it wouldn't work. She just wanted someone to hear her complaint and agree with her. The end. Unless a girl is like "Hey, can you help me figure out...?" or "Can you fix this?", then don't try to fix her problem! Just listen. And say things like "Wow that sucks" or "I totally agree" or "I feel your pain". Then it shows that you're listening, but not trying to fix the problem.
In addition to listening to her compliments, another thing that is really attractive is when you not only listen, but remember something and ask about it later. This works only when it's sincere. For example, if the last time you talked to a girl, she was stressing out about an exam, ask her about how her exam went. If there was something good that happened in her life, then ask her about that. Basically just follow up on events in her life, and it will show that not only did you pay attention and listen to her the last time you talked, but it also shows that you truly do care about her life.
Give sincere and specific compliments. And not just "Oh you look good today". That's BAD. Because then the girl starts thinking "Why do I look good today and not yesterday/the last time I saw you?" And then she starts to think back to things that are wrong with her appearance which leads to a whole train of thought that goes nowhere happy. Give a specific compliment. If her hair was what made you notice, then compliment her hair. Or her shirt. One time, a guy complimented the shirt I was wearing, and now I love wearing that shirt because I know that I look good in it.
"But wait!" you say. "How do I know that this will actually work? How do I know that I won't be Friendzoned?" Because sadly, girls just can't seem to realize that their really close friends are also date-worthy. So boys, let me tell you something. Dates mean something. Even if they aren't supposed to mean something, they mean something. And even if both the girl AND the guy know that the date doesn't mean anything, it still means something. Because here's what happens. The girl starts subconsciously thinking about her date in a different way. As in "could I potentially date this guy" kind of way. She starts looking for the qualities that she wants in her ideal guy in you. And sometimes it's not as subconscious. Most of the time it's right at the forefront of her mind. And the seed is planted. So if you like a girl, and you feel like you've been "Friendzoned", then just ask her out on a date. Make it fun and make it a double date (so it doesn't look like you're trying to be serious, but it's still a small enough group). BOOM. Seed planted. Now this is easier in the Mormon culture because going on a date does not mean actually dating. It's more for fun. No immediate commitment. Yet it still works the same way. So go out, plant the seed. Ask the girl on a date. Give it a couple of weeks and maybe two dates and there will be a perfect little seed planted her head. The rest is up to you. (**In retrospect, I want to make something clear. Ask girls on dates. Even if it is a "just fun" date, still ask her, and don't be intimidated by what she might potentially be thinking for the future. Because dates are fun, and they make a girl feel special [who wouldn't want that?]. What's going on through the girl's head is her problem, and you should enjoy yourself)
Don't worry girls. Your side will be coming soon!
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