30 Days and Counting

Sometimes I think to myself "I got this!"

Other times, I think to myself "WhatdoImeanIgotthiswhatonearthdoeshavingthisevenmean!"

And then I take a deep breath and realize that I do, in fact, know what I am doing. I'm doing the right thing. I'm going to the right place.

Never mind that when I listen to Youtube videos about proper Brazilian Portuguese pronunciation I start hyperventilating in my mind (so we're not supposed to roll the R like ever? Because that goes against everything I believe in).

Never mind that I have no idea if I can bring everything I want to for the next eighteen months. (Self, Brazil is not a third world country.)

My mom's research has been to find out how to prevent all the different parasites from entering my body and eating me alive.

My research has been to find out which soccer players will be on the Brazilian national team next year.

But even when I'm starting to stress over the whole "leaving the country for eighteen months" thing, I always fall back to what I know to be true, without a doubt.

I know that Christ lives and that he loves us.

I know that one day we can live with our Heavenly Father again.

I know that there is a prophet of God on this earth, just like in the days of old, to give us direction and guide us through revelation.

"Oh sweet, the joy this sentence gives, I know that my Redeemer lives!"

And a little child shall lead them

I was sitting at lunch with my good friend last week, mourning the loss of my youth since I am no longer a teenager. He then asked me if I still felt youthful, or if it was all gone once I had turned 20.

Well. About that.

I told him about how when I got back from school, I spent one evening with my 15 year old brother giving him a horsy back ride.

Yep. That's right. We totally did that.

About halfway across the room, I paused and realized that I was twenty years old.

So? Jacob said. I'm fifteen. Giddy-up!

I continued our epic adventure around the room.

Now I have a carpet burn on my knee. Totally worth it.

So am I still youthful?

Heck yes.

Especially around Jacob. Something about us being together makes us five years old again. We sit there like giggling idiots doing dumb things. And it's AWESOME.

Hopefully when all the little kids get to go play with the lions in the millenium, I get to go too. Because that sounds pretty awesome to me. It's like a giant cat. But a lion. Dibs on calling my lion Simba.

I'm still a little child, right?